Indeed, goodbye, Việt Nam. As you read this, we are on the way back home, sad in leaving friends again, yet eager to sleep in our own bed again.
Thank you, people of Hûe. As always, you welcomed us with warm hearts. We will be back – we just don’t know when.
(Click on the photo to see the full sized version.)
As you read this, we are on the way back to our second home in Việt Nam. We’ll spend a few days in Hà Nội seeing American friends, then on to Huê to see our many friends – Vietnamese and American alike. We’ll be there for over three weeks. The Mystery Guest Blogger will be teaching a course in English Medical Terminology to the physicians at the Huê hospital, and I will be doing photography for the safe water projects out in the villages. Both of these endeavors will be under the auspices of MEDRIX, the wonderful Seattle-based group we have worked with since we lived in Huê. We’ll spend the last two days in Sài Gòn with Trang, then back home on the day our visa expries.
Yes – of course I’ll post stories and photos! See you on the other side of the world.
Yeah – I keep busy. I’ve decided that all those photos I take at high school sporting events should not be wasted.
Take a look at www.rgvsportspix.com. Mom and Dad can wander around and find photos of their star athlete, then order photos.
To add more choices, I’ve asked a couple of photographer friends to work with me. My only problem will be to watch my ego deflated as they take better photos than me.
Let me know what you think – would you buy a photo from the site if you were Mom and Dad?
Okay – this would seem to be posted a day early, but in Việt Nam, Easter has already arrived. Of course, the Vietnamese are used to getting up early – at most of the Catholic churches, the first Mass is at 5 AM every week – so a sunrise service is not a big deal.
This will be the first Easter we have celebrated here in America in four years. Last year, we had just arrived in Huê to begin a month of work with MEDRIX. We went to a “late” service (8 AM) and the message was just as joyful in Vietnamese as in our own English service at home. Oh yes – it is very different – the men sit on one side of the sanctuary, and the women and children on the other (the Mystery Guest Blogger and I sat together) and the building was warm (no air conditioning – another reason for early services), yet we knew what was going on when someone read from a book or well-scrubbed kids brought some bread and wine up to the priest.
Of course, in 2006 and 2005, we were living in Huê. Seeing Christianity practiced through Asian eyes gave us a perspective of the wider scope of God’s grace.
After a morning at our own church building where we helped others scrubbed the place up for The Big
Day, we look forward to an Easter at home.
Yeah – its nice to be home, but then again, Việt Nam is home too. Happy Easter, everyone.
My friend Hanh in Huê found that I have been published – again – in The Guide, a Vietnamese English language slick magazine found in hotels and airplanes. They have my permission to lift whatever they want from my blog. Its just my blog posting from November 12 and two of the photos.
(Be sure to click on this image - you will be able to read it that way.)
Funny – here in this country I would not even consider letting a publication use my photos and material without payment, but somehow, its okay if a Vietnamese publication does it. This must have been a popular posting in Việt Nam because not only did The Guide publish it, but a wonderful charitable organization called The Friends of Huê Foundation used two of my photos.
Ah - world wide fame.
Last week, I wrote one of those rare postings that seems to provoke a visceral response. In writing about the well of feelings that surround me in caring for my mother, I got a number of comments, one of which was from my brother. It read “Its Something That We Do.”
If you are a country music fan (I’m not), you recognize that as the title of a song. Though Clint Black sings about he and his wife, the lyrics actually apply to any relationship we describe as “love.” Some excerpts:
But it isn't something that we find
It's something that we do
An endless and a welcome task
Love isn't something that we have
It's something that we do
We give ourselves, we give our all
Love isn't someplace that we fall
It's something that we do
I believe love is an action verb. It transcends the silly high school girl images of the knight in shining armor and the fair maiden. Love – whether we are talking love between friends, love between family, or erotic love – all require action on our part. Love without work is worse than meaningless – it hurts people.
Look in your Bible at the first letter Paul wrote to the church in Corinth. Read the first part of Chapter 13.
Here’s the same passage translated in a different way:
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Hey – I lived it. I know I was a little shit sometimes, but Mom never stopped loving me. I did a lot of selfish things, including volunteering to go off to combat when she was a recent widow. She never told me “Don’t” when I married the wrong girl and never even hinted at being judgmental when I went through the inevitable divorce. No – Mom believed that loving her son was just something that she did.
I sometimes laugh and tell people there is a little Vietnamese in me after living in Việt Nam for 1 ½ years. There are no nursing homes there – generations live in the same house. If I were Vietnamese, my grandkids would be caring for Mom, and doing it at home. They would be loving Mom simply because it was something that they did.
That’s what my brother and his wife are doing now. They are visiting – seeing Mom for what she is today. They laughed with Mom – swapped stilted conversations with Mom – loved Mom.
Its something that they do.
Most readers know I lived and worked in Việt Nam for a year and a half, and make frequent trips back even now. What some readers may not know is that the Mystery Guest Blogger and I have a long association with Việt Nam. We met there in 1969 – she an Army nurse, and me an Infantry officer. I had the distinct honor and privilege of commanding Company C, 2nd Battalion 5th Cavalry, 1st Cavalry Division. In fact, the first part of my email address – Comanche6 – comes from my radio call sign of Tall Comanche 6.
Charlie Company is lucky – lucky to have a guy who regularly organizes reunions. The first was back in 2000 in Atlanta, and more have followed. Jim “Tree” Machin, who lives in the Chicago area, has taken it upon himself to track down and find men who served with the company and bring them to the reunions. In doing that, Jim has helped a lot of them deal with the demons they still have – demons caused by not being able to talk about their experiences, or feeling nobody cares. Jim has made it his life’s work, and many people have been the beneficiaries.
The last reunion was in October, 2006. This was only a few months after we had returned from living in Việt Nam, and Jim asked me to make a presentation for the guys – something about what Việt Nam is like today. I blogged about that reunion and the presentation, and was rewarded with seven people making some very cogent comments.
I was a bit taken aback at the men’s reactions to the last presentation. I had anticipated a little antagonism, but instead got such a positive response that I had to be cut off after an hour for what was supposed to be a 20 minute talk. The questions were good, and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Some mentioned that it helped them with the demons. Since that reunion, one of the men I served with has died. His wife sent me a cherished email telling me that my talk helped Eric with his demons. I was thrilled.
We’re doing it again in September. I have been asked to do another presentation – and I am thinking of doing one titled “Traveling in Việt Nam.” I’ve thought of having the Mystery Guest Blogger join with me – especially if the men’s wives sit in on this presentation. What do you think? Good topic?
Funny thing – for no particular reason I can think of, I’ve been connecting with people lately. People I’ve known for a long time, and another whom I have never met face-to-face.
I connected with Jim. We hadn’t talked in a awhile, and I’m not sure I know why. We’re busy, I guess. The problem is compounded by the fact that it is difficult for him to talk on the phone about Alzheimer’s within ear shot of his wife. You see, both his mother and his wife suffer from the disease. In talking to him, my own attitude is always refreshed to see how strongly he faces his difficult life. In our reconnection, we learned from each other that there are deep life lessons we are learning – lessons we would not have learned if we weren’t going through this experience with Alzheimer’s. In my case, I have slowly come to realize that my mother is still teaching me – these are the final lessons she will teach me in this world. She is teaching me humility and patience.
I connected with Keith. I’m extraordinarily proud of my son – he is a good father, a good husband, a
good teacher, and a good coach. Mostly, I enjoy just listening to him recite the paths of his life. He meets the good and the bad with equal aplomb. Last Sunday we talked for almost five hours – this from me who generally hates the telephone. It was mostly guy talk – all we lacked was a cigar to enjoy while talking.
(Be sure to put your mouse on a photo, then click on the photo. You will see a larger version of the photo that way.)
I connected with Jeff. We go way back to the early 70s when we worked together in Atlanta. He’s attuned to my situation caring for a mother with Alzheimer’s. Being a Jimmy Buffett fan, Jeff told me of Buffett’s dealing with his father’s Alzheimer’s. He even sent me a copy of one Jimmy’s stories through the mail. I truly identified with how Buffett’s father went through periods of excellent long term
memory while not being able to remember what he had for breakfast. I took this photo in August 2006, not much after my mother moved here from Florida. Over dinner, she leafed through old scrapbooks and remembered incredible details.
I connected with Barry. Though I’ve never met the man, we first connected when he read this blog back when we lived in Việt Nam. He has made his own trip – and rode a moto from Saigon to the border with China. Our obvious connection is a country we both love and admire. It was a thought provoking and interesting conversation on many topics, including being a veteran of the war America fought in Việt Nam.
Finally, I connected with Trang. She is one of my former students and graduated from the University of Huê at the same time the Mystery Guest Blogger and I returned home. She now works in Sài Gòn for IBM. Because most of the clients are in the United States, she works at night – which of course makes it perfect for the two of us to stay connected. As she comes in to work, I am sitting down at my computer
with my morning coffee. On many days, we IM and stay connected. A few days ago, things were slow in her office and we even had a chance to turn on the “voice chat” feature of our IM and talk.
Connections.
Important, they are.
This blog has never had a huge readership, though I admit to being amazed at the number of folks who read the silly thing when we lived in Việt Nam. But, its hard to have any readership when I don’t post. You gotta have something to read before you can have a readership.
Too busy? No, though I am working 15-20 hours per week in addition to the 2-3 freelance photo shoots I do and in addition to seeing Mom almost every day.
Sick? Naw – I had a cold for a few days, but not a cold since December 26th.
No muse? Maybe I can blame her for not visiting me, but the truth is, I seem to have just stopped observing the world.
My friend Tom emailed me and asked if I had gotten out of the blogging business – and wondered if I wouldn’t post between Christmas and Valentine’s Day.
So – if Tom is my only reader, I guess I had better get back to work and write something, eh? I wouldn’t want to upset my only reader.
EDIT: I'm writing this after five of you have posted comments.
I had no idea! Truly! I am honored and flattered that five of you have posted comments within only a few hours. Sorry Tom - you're not the only one.
And now, folks - you need to get a life!
(It’s a record – a record I am not crazy about. This is easily the longest period of time of not writing s since I began blogging back in June, 2003. In 4 ½ years, I have never gone this long between posts. Even while living in Việt Nam, I usually posted twice each week.
The Gentle Reader may ask “Why haven’t you blogged lately, Doug?”, though most likely Gentle Reader doesn’t really care. But, since its my blog, I’ll answer the rhetorical question anyway.
When the Mystery Guest Blogger and I got back from Việt Nam in November, I went to work part-time for a newspaper. It’s the same paper where I’ve been freelancing, but now I’m also working in the production of the paper and a seasonal publication called The Winter Texas Times. Since it takes me about 5 hours to shoot and process the photographs of a sports event, and I do two or three of those each week, plus I work 15-20 hours each week, as well as visiting my mother almost every day, the days are busy. Of course, I used to work 40 hours (or more) a week, and have time for hobbies and writing, but that was before I started getting Social Security.
So - - there are my excuses and I am sticking with them.)
Every one likes to talk and write about the spirit of giving during the Christmas season. Like most other newspapers, mine has been running stories along those lines. I think it’s a good thing – I just wish the same feeling pervaded during the rest of the year. I guess we feel that way, eh?
There was one family whose mobile home burned down in November. A nearby Catholic church found out about it. The youth director of the church called on some folks who work in the construction industry – the same folks who work with teenagers during the summer on The Mission Service Project to help seniors and poor folks fix up their houses. The photo ran in the paper along with a plea that folks chip in with some construction materials. I’ve been thinking that I need to go back out to the site and see how the new house is coming along.
(As always, be sure to click on each photo – you’ll see a full sized version if you do.)
I enjoyed the Lighting of the Christmas Tree for the City of Mission. It really was a family affair – lots of
kids. Santa was there, but every time I tried to get a shot of him with the kids, the Mayor put himself in the scene too – and I just didn’t want a politician in my Christmas pix. But – I came up on this by accident. I was walking around, watching the kids with candy and new toys when I saw a little girl break away from her Mom. Nobody told her to do this – she just did it. This kid knows what Christmas is about, eh?
Today, I went out with a group of folks from the local Lions Club. Yeah – they had fun. They joked as much as they worked, but work they did. I followed two of them around as they went to drop off groceries to families in need. This Mom’s husband used to bring home the bacon, but is disabled now. She has her hands full with little ones, so three bags of food were much appreciated.
So – how’s your Christmas going?
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