MySpace is where some people bare their souls for all the world to see, but for those of us who are older immigrants to the digital world, we hold to a different level of privacy and are loath to share everything with the world. I don’t reveal all of me on this blog - casual visitors still know me as Virtual-Doug, and only some folks know my real name. Nonetheless, I feel I must write something about myself, even if only for my own benefit.
On occasion, I go back and read what I’ve written over the past 3 ½ years of blogging. Sometimes I gag at my own bad writing, a poorly thought out idea, or both. At other times I think “I wrote that? Wow!” Sometimes it gives me a chance to stand outside myself and read what I’d forgotten I wrote. Maybe after another 3 ½ years, I’ll read these posts. I hope I’ll be amazed.
The past few months have been a sorting-out time for me. When the Mystery Guest Blogger and I returned from Việt Nam in June, we had some curve balls thrown at us. Sure – we were expecting curve balls, but expecting curve balls and dealing with them are quite different.
It appears there have been four major areas of change in my life – and by extension, the MGB’s life. Those areas are:
• Figuring out this whole “retirement” thing. Its very different from work.
• Caring for my mother.
• My church
• Việt Nam, and my love affair with its people.
Of course, the four are tangled together. There is a complexity that is difficult to describe.
Here’s the first of the four:
Retirement.
Most Americans long to retire. The rat race gets old. Corporate ladder-climbing loses its importance as we grow older. The thought of doing what we want to do rather than what the boss wants us to do is very appealing.
But, Americans – particularly American men – find a large part of their identity in their work. Upon meeting someone for the first time, the first question is usually “What do you do?” Our work defines who we are. Even in retirement, the question becomes “What did you do before you retired?”
I have no desire to go back to work full-time. But, there is a need to be intentional in my daily life. I could also say I need a reason to get up in the morning. I’m playing with the idea of making a few extra dollars by teaching an online course to professors. Of course, I may find something else to do – night clerk at a motel, or selling Avon products. I admit I have added “Work and Money” to my prayer list as I seem to need the focus of work, and we could use some money to handle some of the “I wants” in life. The “I needs” are taken care of .
I also have grown to love photography – and maybe I could make a little pocket change with it. I recently became a freelance photographer for the local weekly newspaper shooting high school sports. I’ve had a few parents ask me for prints. Does any pocket change made with photography replace going to work? I don’t know. I truly don’t miss the rat race, yet I miss the focus.
I’ve also found there are different levels of being retired. There is a generation gap, even within the borders of this retirement park. I’m not ready for happy hours beginning at 4 PM, playing cards, or clogging shows. If you don’t know what “clogging” is, then you understand the gap. Clogging is a type of dancing – done by rural folks a long time ago. I know as much about clogging as the cloggers would know about Eric Clapton. In other words, we early retirees see life differently than our elders.
I also wonder if doing short term humanitarian trips back to Việt Nam might replace work. We would have to raise some financial support for that, but it would give both of us a focus.
Final point: I’m not really ready to be retired, if “retired” means sitting on the front porch and whittling.
(To be continued)
