As one gets older, one tends to look back. Evidence of that is that many Americans like to go to reunions – gatherings of people you knew in the past. The reunion might be of high school or college classmates. In my case, I had a reunion last weekend with some of the men I served with during the war in Việt Nam. Of course, this posting will be a bit strange for my Vietnamese friends. They all know I was in the American Army, but I seldom write about it on this site. Any regular reader knows of my love of the people and country of Việt Nam. The reunion had nothing to do with Việt Nam per se, but rather with the war.
A poignant reminder of the cost of war was the “Empty Table.” At our closing banquet, we set up a table, complete with dinner plate and chair, for those who died as soldiers doing their duty. These 74 men from our company died before they got grey hair or became grandfathers.
I find it interesting that the man who organizes these reunions was drafted into
the Army and
eventually promoted to Sergeant. There are many former and retired officers who attend the reunions, but we all take our “orders” from the draftee now. I think that says something about the egalitarian nature of the American society. And, we
have fun with that. Some of those former officers were “volunteered” to serve dessert to the men who served under them as enlisted men. It was a great idea – and it came from the fertile mind of our organizer and his wife. They put many long hours into these reunions. Many.
But most of the time spent was in reminiscing – recalling the horrible things that happened, as well
as the funny events. A misconception of the Vietnam vet is that they “never talk about it.” The reason they don’t talk about it is because nobody could understand it unless they too had been in combat. It would be like accusing a mother of never talking with men about childbirth – men just wouldn’t be able to understand so why bother to discuss the topic with men. But the reunion gave these former soldiers a chance to vent with other former soldiers who do understand – to recall the night they lost buddies in a mortar 
attack – to laugh over their own drunken antics while on R&R in Bangkok – to recall a bad helicopter assault – to remember guys who loved to walk point, carry the machinegun, or carry extra grenades – to recall how much we looked forward to mail from home – to remember heroes. It was also a time for many of the wives to learn a little more about what makes their husbands tick.
I had the distinct honor of giving a presentation titled “Việt Nam: A Country, Not a War.” I was taken aback by the openness of the men. Only one other person in attendance had been back to, but everyone enjoyed the pictures and comments about today’s Việt Nam. It took an hour before I was able to finish answering all the questions. Of course, I showed them a very very different Việt Nam from the one they saw a long time ago.
Back when I lived in Huê, I was often struck by the passion with which the people loved their
country. It was a healthy kind of love – one of pride and vision. Our time at the reunion ended with everyone singing “Proud to be an American” as they held candles high. These were men who had put their patriotism on the line – a passion the sheltered people they fought for will never understand.
As I stood there singing, I realized how much I love both my native America and my adopted Việt Nam – and so happy they are now at peace.
