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Student Essay - "Vietnamese Women"

This is the fifth in a series of six student essays being posted to this blog.  As usual, I have not included the student’s name for reasons of privacy.  Her insight into the historical aspects of the status of Vietnamese women is interesting, and she illustrates the changes taking place in today’s Việt Nam.
Enjoy.

Essay One – Ancestor Worship
Essay Two –  History of the Vietnamese Ao Dai
Essay Three –  Differences Between a Buddhist and a Christian
Essay Four – Vietnamese Pre-War Music

The aesthetic beauty’s standards of a woman are the tempered result of blending many different streams of culture and different concepts.  Following the changes of the history, these standards have also change gradually.  It is considered as the traditional modernization.  Also, to have such a good status in society as today is not easy to any Vietnamese women.   Actually, they have had struggled non-stop throughout the development of history.  What are the great changes in Vietnamese women’s status as well as their character?  My following essay, even though is not perfect, will give you some general information about them.
With the dominance of Confucius, the concept “three obedience’s, four virtues” has become the dominant ideology.  It has become a kind of “basic standard of manner,” a string tightening and limiting of women in both bodies and souls.  This spiritual cangue has affected directly the manner as well as the status of a woman in society until today.  To make sure that you can understand more clearly about Vietnamese traditional women’s fates, I will analyze the concept “three obediences, four virtues.”

Firstly, what are the “three obediences?”  The three obediences are: obedience to father before marriage, obedience to husband after marriage, obedience to the eldest son after the death of the husband.  Historically, in Vietnam, women enjoyed few rights.  Their traditional roles were just to stay within the confines of the home for the purpose of caring for the family.  Women were raised and taught how to become good daughters, wives, and mothers.  They were taught to obey their husbands, respect their parents as well as their parents-in-law, and try their best to work hard to care for the families.  Whatever their parents or their husbands asked them to do, they had to finish it even it was extremely difficult or unreasonable.  They had no right to choose or complain about it.  Thus, the fate of a woman at that time often described as a fish in bowl, a bird in cage, behind prison bars.  Thus, among many Vietnamese folk songs, there is a song curing this pitiful fate of women:

-Ho o , em di lay chong
(Alas, I must get married)
Em lay chong, nhu ca can cau
(After I get married, I would be like a fish in bowl)
ca can cau, biet dau ma go?
(The fish in bowl do not know how to free it)
Chim vao long, biet thuo nao ra?
(A bird in cage do not know when it is free)

The fact that people thought that having one son was always better than having ten daughters became traditional.  They thought that daughters were other’s children and just sons were actually their own children.  Why did they think that?  According to them, after being married, their daughters would become a member of her husband’s family, and she had to take care of her husband family.   However, the son would not only stay at home and would bring a new member to care for his family, but he also had children to continue the ancestral lines.  Thus, if a wife could not give birth to at least one son, she would be looked down on and be regarded as an undutiful daughter-in-law.  Confucius had a lesson about the duty of a son and it insisted that: “bat hieu huu tam, vi hau vo dai” (there are three things to remark on an undutiful child, and among them, not having children to carry on the lines is the worst thing.)

Historically, women were not allowed to go to school or have any position in society.  Even though they were better than men, they were always looked down on.   They were confined to the house, and learned how to do housework well.  They could not have any chance to contact to everybody, especially strange men.  A woman had no right to choose her future husband.  They had to obey the pre-arranged marriages of their parents; they did not even know anything about their future husband.  Because of these terrible constraints, there were  lot of pitiful stories, which were full of tears about women’s fates in the old time.

“Lay chong chang biet ant chong
(I get married, but I do not know his face)
Dem nam mo tuong edn anh lang gieng”
(Every night, I dream of the neighbor’s face)
Or
“Lay chong tu thuo muoi ba
(I got married when I was thirteen)
Den nam muoi tam thiep da nam con
(When I was 18 years old, I had 5 children)
Ra duong thiep hay con son
(When going out, people believed that I was still an innocent girl)
Ve nha thiep da nam con cung chang”
(But, actually, I had 5 children with my husband)

Vietnamese folk songs

On the other hand, there were many marriages between seventeen-year-old girls and five-year-old boys.  When these small husbands grew up, they realized that their wives were too old for them, and they certainly took other younger girls as their second, third or fourth wives.  At that time these women were abandoned and lived alone until they died.  Thus, in oral literature, Vietnamese often sing ironic songs about this terrible custom:

“Bong bong cong chong di choi
(I carried my husband pick-aback and went for a walk)
Di den cho loi em danh roi mat chong”
(However, when going to the slushy road, I lose my husband by dropping somewhere)

Vietnamese folk songs

Another pitiful circumstance is that, many girls had to marry to men who were too old, even older than their parents, and the day they came to their old husbands’ house was also the death day of their husbands.  At that time, these young girls became widows.  In addition, they were also hated and abandoned by their husbands’ family, because they were regarded as “comets” which brought unlucky things to all the members in family.  And, they, these young widows, had to live with loneliness and agony till her death.

In the old time, a man could have many wives, so it made women feel sad and isolated.  Complaining about this unfair rule, Ho Xuan Huong, a famous women poet had a poem:

“To share a husband with another…what a life!
The one sleeps under the covers, well snuggled in the other freezes.
By chance he comes across you in the dark, once or twice a month…nothing!
You hang on hoping to get your share, but the rice is poor and underdone.
You work like a drudge, save that you get no pay.
Ah, had I known it would be like this
Willingly would I have stayed alone just as I was before.”
(To share a husband)

According to strict moral rules at that time, a woman could not remarry even though her husband had died many years ago.  She had to live alone for her rest life to worship her husband until her death.  Thus, the widow who fell in love with another man would be punished strictly:  she would be burned alive or be put in a pig cage and be thrown into the river, or more terribly, she would be nailed up on a board and be thrown into the river.

However, ironically, at that time, a woman who had wonderful beauty would be considered as “a toy” of society, their fate was not in their hand, they were like “raindrops do not know where they would reach.”  Ngoc Han princess is an example, she was even a queen but she had no right to decide her life.  After beloved her husband, Quang Trung King’s death, she was forced to remarry Gia Long King, who was her husband’s enemy.  She could not do anything to struggle against but crying and cursing herself:

[…] Alone, I weep over my fate.
Heaven, why did you shatter our union?
How tell my misery, my pain
Deep as ocean, boundless as sky
[…]I see the moon through sorrow, its brilliance tarnished,
A fine dust veils its silvered glow.
I am ashamed to look myself in a mirror,
My love shattered, alone I wander on the deserted shore.
The flowers I look at return my grief.
Camellias cry tears of dew.
Watching th flitting birds, my heart is torn,
A turtledove flies solidarity, seeking its companion.
Each landscape wears its own desolation,
Where are the joys of former days?
One moment only and the world collapsed,
So life goes, to whom can I complain?
Love, fidelity, as immense as heaven and earth,
My grief grows as my days endure.
To whom may I confide my torment and my pain?
Let sun and moon bear witness to me.”
(Tears and regrets)

These exaggerated concepts have oppressed Vietnamese women for hundreds of years.  A lot of women have struggled against those out-date customs and tried to prove themselves to society.  For examples, they disguised themselves as men to go to school.  Some women studied very well and became women of great learning.  Some women also commanded troops to fight against foreign enemy bringing peaceful life to everybody, such as, the Trung sisters, Mrs. Trieu, etc.  Vietnamese women have tried their best to show that whatever a man can do, a woman also can do and she even can do it better, as Ho Xuan Huong, a poet, said:

“Vi day doi phan lam trai duoc
(If only I could change my destiny and is a man)
Thi su anh hung ha bay nhieu”
(I would not content myself with such feats of valor)

these things show clearly that even though the society had treated women terribly.  They still tried their best to perfect themselves as well as improve their status in society.

Now, we will move to another concept that is “the four virtues.”  The four virtues are: Công, Dung, Ngôn, Hanh.  Traditionally, they are four standards to remark the manner as well as the beauty of a woman.  They have been considered as basic lessons for girls before they get married.  What do they mean?  And, how do they affect to Vietnamese women’s character?

The first one is Công.  Công means Work.  It implies that a woman must be good at housework and hardworking.  She has to be skilled in cooking, doing needlework and embroidery.  She has to take care of the family carefully and work hard to support her family.  She has to throw her body and should into helping her husband solve some problems in family, teach children and provide adequately for her parents-in-law.  These things can help her husband feel assured so that he can concentrate on working hard.  Thus, it is considered as a good character of a woman, which all Vietnamese women should know and follow.

The second one is Dung, actually, Dung means Appearance.  It implies that a woman should take care of her appearance.  It does not mean that women have to be always beautiful.  It means that a woman should always keep her body clean and tidy.  Do not dress too casually when going out.  Keep her soul, her face gentle and cheerful so that she can make everybody like and respect her.  Vietnamese people often remark about a man through his wife.  If she dresses too casually, they will think that he does not earn enough money to support his family or he is too mean to buying nice clothes for his wife.  Thus, in this case, the appearance of a wife is rather important.  However, it does not mean that a woman should take much time to take care of her beauty and ignore her duty.

The third one is also consider as one of the most important feature in making Vietnamese traditional character, is Ngôn.  In English, Ngôn means Words.  As a woman, she has to usually pay attention to her words as well as her speaking way.  Do not speak too much or too loudly.  When walking, she should not make any sound.  Her behaviors have to be gentle and have to suitable with a moral outlook.  With the elders, her words have to be formal and respectful.  She could not speak nonsense or harsh words.  She must think carefully before speaking.  People usually remark her manner through her words.

Also, this following poem will help you understand more about an ideal traditional girl:

            RÂT HUE (VERY HUE)

Giu chut gi rat Hue di em
(Please, keep something very Hue)
Net duyen la troi dat giao hoa
(The grace is the harmony of the earth and sky)
Dau xa mot thoi anh gap lai
(Although I have to go far from you, but when I meet you)
Van duoc nhin em say la hoa
(I am still admired your beauty)
Giu chut gi rat Hue hien nhoan
(Keep something very Hue, gentle and good-mannered)
Xin em cho cat mai toc dai
(Please, do not cut your long hair)
De cho giothoi bay mai toc
(Let the easy wind play with your beautiful hair)
Va mua dong am doi vai gay
(And in the winter, it can worm your thin shoulders)
Giu chut gi rat Hue man ma
(Keep something ver Hue, warmly)
Da thua ngot lim ai me say
(Please, say sweetly the words “yes,” please” to make others to be captivated)
Em di got nhe say hon co
(When you walk, your graceful feet also make the spirit of the grass to be captivated)
Va hoi though mem suong khoi  bay
(And your breath is as soft as the rising smoke)
Giu chut gi rat Hue trang dai
(Keep something very Hue, boudoir)
Non nghieng bong nang dang though ngay
(An inclining conical palm hat in sunlight and innocent appearance)
Gap anh non hoi dung nghieng xuong
(When meeting me, please, the palm hat, do not incline)
Cho anh trong mat ngoc may ngai
(Let me see your “bright pearl” eyes and your graceful brow)
Giu chut gi rat Hue diu dang
(Keep something very Hue, gentle)
Ao trang hai ta chap canh though
(The white Ao Dai with two flaps patch up the poetical wings)
Em nhu lua mong bay trong pho
(You are like the thin and slight a length of silk flying in the city)
Mot chieu suong trang ngo nhu mo
(And make a white foggy afternoon as a dream)
Dau em rat Hue tu bao gio
(Even though you have been very Hue)
Dung de long nhu cung dien xua
(Do not keep your soul like the ancient palace)
Dung sho anh suot doi dung doi
(Please do not let me wait in all of my life)
Truoc clam thanh goi chang ai thua.
(In front of the forbidden gate, even I call a lot, none answers me.)

(Huỳnh Văn Dung)

Inheriting these good characters, “the three responsibilities” launched during the anti-aggression war.  The three responsibilities of Vietnamese women at that time were:  household, production, and fighting the enemies.  During the war, most of men took part in army.  There were only women, children and the old stayed at home.  Thus, at that time, Vietnamese women took a very important role in family, society as well as in the success of Vietnam.  They had to care and protect their families and they too men’s places in work.  They also joined the army to struggle against their nation’s enemies.  Many longhaired warriors and many women’s guerillas units were established.  They struggled nonstop to protect their lands, their families and their life.  Thus, during this period, a lot of women with their talents and their great devotion became good examples for everybody to follow.  A lot of songs, poems as well as stories about this strong spirit of Vietnamese women aw well as their great contributions to our country such as “Co gai mien que ra di cuu nuoc, mai toc sanh, sanh tuoi trang tron, ban tay em pha da mo duong, gian kho phai lui nhuong em tien buoc” (the countryside’s girls went to save their country, their hair were blue, the color of the full moon ages.  However, their hands had broke stones to pave the ways for the army, any difficulties had to give way for her to continue going.)

Now, the war has passed.  However, the spirits as well as the status of Vietnamese women have not been reduced.  Step by step, Vietnamese women have affirmed their important positions in society.  They do not only play an important role in family but they can also devote a lot to society.  They have more chance to study, research to perfect them.  With modern thoughts, they have become more active, braver, and more self-confident.  They have more freedom and rights.  However, to some extent, women are gradually losing their valuable traditional character.  They have become too free to forget their duties.  They do not pay much time to take care for their families anymore.  It is rather dangerous.  However, Vietnamese women in general still know the way to combine their good traditional character with the modern thoughts.  They try their best to become perfect women as well as good citizens.

In short, to have good status like nowadays, Vietnamese women with their braveness have had to struggle continuously against the cultural constraints placed on their life.   However, it does not mean that they have to deny the past as well as the tradition.  They should try their best to reserve and improve good traditions; besides, they should open their mind to access to the modern ideology of society.

Source:
1.  Vietnamese literature, 1989.
2.  Nhung bai though tru tinh chon loc xu Hue. NXB Kim Dong. 1999.

American Family Reunions

Families are nuclear in America.  That simply means that we count “family” as being only the parents and kids.  Seldom do more than two generations live under the same roof.  Mom and Dad and the kids live in the same house, but once the kids are gone, Mom and Dad live by themselves.  It is quite rare for adult children to live with their parents.  It is almost unheard of to have three or four generations in the same house.   Americans have an extraordinary drive to be independent and self-supporting regardless of their age.  The mantra for most older people is that they don’t “want to be a burden to the children.”  Americans live by themselves as long as they can – quite contrary to the Vietnamese way of all generations living together.

But lets understand something – not living with them does not mean Americans do not love their parents.  Of course they do. It just means they have to work harder to keep family bonds strong.  That’s what we are doing now – traveling 4,335 miles (6,975 kilometers) to see parents and family.

I got this email from one of my students:  “Could you describe for me how a visit to parents in your culture would be please? In VN old children from far away to their parents, they are the guest of a fancy party. And people eat very slowly but in cheer. The children also bring their parents some medicals that are good for their health. Or bring some good food . . . “

Okay, Trang – here goes.

The Mystery Guest Blogger’s mother is a new widow and recently turned 80 years old.  Of her children, MGB lives the furthest away (Hué is on the other side of the world), but one son lives in northern Idaho and another lives in Texas.  Only one of her children lives close by – two houses away.

So, when the family gets together, it is a big deal.  There is no formal ceremony or activity, but a visit from far-off children usually means staying up late at night talking, preparing and eating big meals, and getting together with other extended family members in the area.

In celebration of being 80, MGB’s mother had a birthday cake made in her honor.  It’s an American custom to have a birthday cake with small candles on top of the cake that must be blown out with one breath – one candle for each birthday.  Eighty candles was a bit much, so the family decided on three small candles seen in the glass candle holders on the table.  Of course, we all had to sing “Happy Birthday” to her.

A few days later,  the extended family got together at one the children’s homes.  There were a lot more people there:  aunts, uncles, cousins, grandfathers, small children, sons-in-laws – a total of three generations.   Once again, food was central to the event as evidenced by all the fare on the kitchen counter.  The old folks talked about the old days, and the children played with the dogs.  The two principal activities were eating and talking.

Trang – I’m not so sure there is a lot of difference between Việt Nam and America.  Though the generations do not live together in America, family is important.  There may be less of a need for family reunions in Việt Nam, simply because families stay together more, but when separated children come together, both the Vietnamese and Americans love to eat (and eat with cheer, I might add), and catch up with what is going on in each others lives.

People aren’t really so different, are they?

This and That

I never know what reaction a posting will cause.  There are some stories I labor over the weeks – and nobody leaves a comment.  Other times I throw something together in a few minutes, and get all kinds of response.  Such is the case with "America Through a Different Lens” below  There are some excellent comments made by friends.  For those of you who are not “blog savvy”, and for my students in Hué, please be sure to read the comments as there is much more to be learned.

A couple of times, I have written hints for people – hints about how to read this blog.  For instance, on most postings with pictures, I include the message “Click on photos to see a larger version.”  I found out yesterday that one person didn’t know a much larger version of the little thumbnail photo is available – just put your mouse cursor on the thumbnail photo and click – you will see a much larger photo and be able to see things you cannot see in the thumbnail.

Almost all the postings are categorized.  For instance, all the stories I’ve written about teaching and the students in Hué are included in the category “Teaching and Learning in Việt Nam.”  Look to the left for all the categories. Click on anyone of them to see the stories in that category.

This blog began in June, 2003.  You can go all the way back and read any posting made during that period.  Just use the calendar on the left to go back in time, or if you want to read something more recent, just click on the month you want in the “Archives” section, lower left.

We’re in northern Ohio now – time to spend some time with the Mystery Guest Blogger’s family.

Time to look the “American Family” with new eyes.

America Through a Different Lens

Note:  I have created a new category.  “Back in the US of A” will be postings written this summer while back home in the United States.  I will spare you the details of family visits.  Instead, I will try to be an observer of the American culture in much the same way I do while in Việt Nam.  It will be hard to do – one’s culture is so familiar it is often difficult to recognize.  But, I’ll give it a whirl and we’ll see what happens.

For my Vietnamese readers (and hopefully, my students), remember there is no such thing as a typical American, nor is there a typical American city or town.  I live in deep south Texas – very close to the Mexican border.  Most of the people living here (about 85%) speak Spanish as their native tongue.  This area is quite different from the area around Cleveland, Ohio – which is quite different from Orlando, Florida – which is quite different from Denver, Colorado.  The vast majority of Vietnamese are Kinh – ethnic Vietnamese.  Though there are 54 other ethnic groups, they only make up about 15% of the population, and few minority people live in and around the Kinh.  America is quite the opposite.  An Asian person may work with a Black person, and live next door to someone who speaks French, who is married to a Mexican.  America is a mish-mash of diversity.

Take whatever I write with a grain of salt.  Do not think I am describing such a thing as a typical American.  It doesn’t exist.

(Grain of salt? For my students, that is an American idiom.  Look it up.)

America is a land of automobiles.  Even poor people drive automobiles. (They buy older used cars that are less expensive than new cars.)   The other day, the Mystery Guest Blogger and I were stopped at the traffic light at 23rd Street and Nolana in McAllen, Texas.  I commented that during that short time period, we probably saw more automobiles than we would see in an entire day in Hué.

Notice in this photo that the streets are very wide. This is the intersection of two five lane roads (middle lane is for turning). Even in the big cities, such as New York or Los Angeles, the major streets are wide and capable of handling a lot of automobile traffic.  McAllen is a small city of 150,000  Most of the automobiles have just one person in them.  That’s because many families have two automobiles.  (Be sure to click on the photo to see a larger version.)

(I suspect my friends living in New York City will scoff at the previous paragraph, and proudly tell me they don’t own a car – and don’t want to.  But remember, Gentle Reader – there is no such thing as a “typical American.”)

Just about everything is geared towards the automobile.  In Việt Nam, there is a little “mom and pop” store on every street and neighborhood.  You can purchase the necessities at these little stores – soap, an ice cream cone, cigarettes, or whatever.  If you need food, there are markets aplenty, and all within walking or bicycle distance.

Not in America.  Many people marvel at the huge stores of America.  True enough, you can walk into many of the big stores and buy anything from chicken to chairs to canned fruit to a hair dryer.  Such stores cover as much space as the Dong Ba market in Hué, but there are no stalls for individual vendors – everything is run by one company, and the huge building is air conditioned.  The downside of these stores is that there are fewer of them.  You cannot walk from your home to one of these stores – you must drive your automobile.

All these automobiles must stop somewhere.  By local law, these huge stores must provide space to park all those automobiles.  The result:  most Americans have a garage that holds two cars, and there are parking lots that are large enough to park hundreds of automobiles.

Back in 2003, I wrote a note from Saigon in which I said you cannot understand Việt Nam without understanding the motorbike.  One simply cannot understand America without understanding it revolves around the automobile.  Americans are fiercely independent – they don’t want anyone to tell them what to do, and if that means each of them must have his/her own automobile – so be it.

Student Essay - "Vietnamese Pre-War Music: Why Do the Adult in Vietnam Like Listening to This Kind of Music"

This is the fourth in a series of essays written by my third year writing students.  As usual, the student’s name remains anonymous.  However, it can be said she enjoys translating poetry and song lyrics.  My apologies for not including the diacritical marks in the Vietnamese language portion of this post, but the student did not include them in her paper.

My students know I am a veteran of the American War.  (Obviously, the Vietnamese don’t refer to it as the Việt Nam War.)  I don’t make a big deal of it, and neither do they, but the topic came up during one class during which we discussed music – the day they conned me into singing a lullaby.  Being the age of their grandparents, she thought I would enjoy something about music her grandparents enjoy.

I did.  I hope you do too.

Student Essay One - Ancestor Worship
Student Essay Two - History of the Vietnamese Ao Dai
Student Essay Three - Comparison of a Christian and a Buddhist

Vietnam, my country, is in South East Asia and lies on the Shore of the East Sea with the shape of S letter.  When I was asked to talk about Vietnam, I wanted to mention many, many things because I feel very proud of whatever belongs to my country.  It has a glorious history, many beautiful tourist destinations, many special customs and an advanced culture with charming national character.  Vietnam is a country in which there are more than 54 ethnic minorities and the largest one is the Kinh occupying 80% of Vietnam population.  Therefore, Vietnamese culture is a varied and abundant one.  If I introduce all of it to you, it would not be specific, so , I would like to open my essay about Vietnam with the main topic of Vietnam’s pre-war music and let you know some reason why the adults in Vietnam like listening to this kind of music.

Before I help you to answer this question, I would like to introduce briefly some main kind of music in Vietnam nowadays.  They are: yellow music, blue music, red music, lullaby songs, folk music, royal music and ethnic minority music.

Each kind of music has it own identity.  Yellow music is formed before the two wars fighting to French and American enemies as well as during war.  Pre-war music songs are about the peace of life, romantic loves and the love for beautiful landscapes with many wonderful images and deep-meaning lyrics.  During the two wars, songs that expressed the sadness, the separation, the death, the thirst for happiness and the troubled time are considered to be pre-war music.  Red music is the music that was composed in the war to encourage the heroic fighting spirit of Vietnamese soldiers.

Different from these two kinds of music, blue music has been newly formed.  It is the music of the youth, with a strong beat, emotion-exposed lyrics and fast melodies such as rock, pop, etc.

The last four kinds of music had existed from a long time ago until now.  Lullaby songs are of mothers lulling their children sleep, folk songs are the music identity of three different regions:  the South, the North, and the Middle.  They were orally transmitted and they are composed by normal people.  They sing this kind of music when working hard to ignore exhaustion.  There are many topics of folk songs as: praising the beauty of the country, lamenting over one’s plight or about experiences in explaining the farming weather.  It is different from the royal music that is from the nobles.  Certainly, it is the Kinh who listen to these kinds of music.

Return to pre-war music or yellow music that is enjoyed by mostly Vietnamese who are more than 30 years old.  As we all know, Vietnam has been free for 30 years, so these people are those who had lived during at least one war.  They listen to pre-war music to return to their memories, to relax, or to sink into the world of deep-meaning lyrics.

They likely sink into their youth when they listen to pre-war songs.  These songs are full of romantic images describing the feelings of the youth at their time when a new age or a strange feeling coming.   In the song Tuio Ngoc (Pearl Age) of Pham Duy, the composer had told us the thought of a newly-grown up girl:

Xin cho em mot chiec ao dai
Cho em din he trong nang chieu
Mot chieu nhieu nguoi theo
O ngoai duong tren pho
Va long nguoi nu ang phan phỏ

(Give me an Ao Dai, I will walk gracefully in the sunshine of the afternoon when many boys follow me – a girl looks like a silk flying in the streets).

These songs also remind them of the time they went to school, fell in love, and their broken puppy loves.  It was these songs which makes the memories more and more beautiful and dreamy.  They found out their fleeting emotions or their pure loves when they had been growing up, when they got to know to like someone else.  These emotions are partly stated in the songs of Truong Sa or Ngo Thuy Mien.  For example, in the song Thu Ve Trong Mat Em (The Autumn In Your Eyes) of Truong Sa, he said about the sadness when love was broken:

Trong mat em mua thu ve day
Nghe nho thuong nang triu vai gay
Mua thu den goi sau tiec nho
Khoc thuong tinh chang nguu Lang
La thu lay dong hon ai

(In yours eyes I see the autumn coming, I felt the heavy grievous mood pressing on you small shoulders, the autumn reminds the sadness and the regret, crying for Nguu Lang gentleman, the leaf moved whose soul).

Or in the song Khi Nguoi Yeu Toi Khoc (When my darling cries) of Ngo Thuy Mien, we can see the confusion of a man when his darling cried:

Khi nguoi yeu toi khoc troi cung giang sau
Cho tung con mua lu xoay quanh tam hon
Khi nguoi yeu toi Khoc thanh pho buon hiu
Em oi hay noi van loi sau dang nhu anh vua trach em

(When my darling cries the sky is also full of sadness, and in my soul rain and flood come, when my darling cries the city is also sad-looking, please my darling speak out bitter and sad word as I has just blamed you)

These lyrics were simple but smooth and warm and they hide something behind the words so each one can think about it in different ways.  Beside, when they listen to these songs they could see their idols that are as old as them.  These singers are very famous in their time and they had experiences to perform pre-war music songs, which are simple in melodies but different in stating emotions of the composers.  Recently, in Vietnam, there are many young singers who sing these songs, however, they are not as good as former singers such as: Khanh Ly, Le Thu, Mai Huong, Sy Phu, etc.

The second reason is that listening pre-war music help them to relax in this noisy society.  With the charming melodies, this kind of music reduces stress and tenseness.  They lead listeners to the beautiful sceneries of Vietnam, for instance, in the song Mua Tren Pho Hue (Rain in Hue) of Minh Ky, he described as follow:

Chieu nay mua tran pho hue
Keip giang ho khong ben doi
Ma mua roi cu roi roi hoai
Cho long nho ai

(It is raining in Hue city this afternoon, where is the place waiting for an errant traveler, why is the rain falling continuously?  That make me sink in longing to see you)

Or Hanh Trinh Tren Dat Phu Sa of Thanh son (Journey On Alluvium Land) expressing many places in the south of Vietnam with its own beauty.

The special thing is that there are also many foreign songs which were translated into Vietnamese such as: Blue Danube, Return to the Concerto, When We Were Young, The Green Field, Love is Blue, Poupee De Sous Poupee De Cire by Pham Suy.  These songs help them not only enjoy the traditional melody of Vietnam but also know the good and the beauty of foreign music.  Furthermore, the adults also teach their children or tell them the many legends Vietnam through out the songs as Hon Vong Phu 1,2.3 of Le Thuong (the rock has the shape of a woman waiting for her husband) these three songs describe the different looks and feelings of that rock in which the composer also add some legends of the nature forming as: Nine Dragons River, Ha Long Bay, etc.  There are also Chuyen Trau Cau (Betel Tree and Areca-Nut Tree Story) the story is about two brothers falling love with a girl and when they died they became the areca-nut tree, betel tree and a limestone.  When we eat these three things together, it will turn red like the constant love between them.

The most important reason why most of adults in Vietnam like listening to pre-war music is because of the deep-meaning lyrics.  Trinh Cong Son is one of the composers who is famous for the deep-meaning lyrics.  For example, in the son Nguyet Ca (Moon Song):

Tu khi em la nguyet
Toi nhu tung canh dieu vui
Tu khi em la nguyet
Trong toi co nhung mat troi

(Since I had known that you were not the moon, considering that moment as I just by chance knew you.)

Besides Van Cao, Pham Duy, and Vu Thanh An are the composers who have many songs with deep-meaning lyrics.  Especially, Vu Thanh An is very famous for his untitled songs.  From Khong Ten So 1 (Untitled Number One) to Khong Ten Cuoi Cung (the Last Untitled Song), he pointed out the mood of a man in the changes of life and love.  In years through, these songs have never been forgotten.  There is not only the adult but also the youth enjoy this kind of music.  And, there are not only Vietnamese but also foreigners love pre-war music.  Jason Gibbs is one of them, he likely has a thorough knowledge of pre-war music and he translates this song below.  I hope that you could understand more about the wonderful things of pre-war music.

Giot Mau Thu by Dan The Phong and Bui Cong Ky (1939)
Ngoai hien giot mu thu thanh thot roi
Troi lang u buon may hat hiu ngung troi.
Nghe gio thoang mo ho trong nua thu, ai khoc ai than ho
Vai con chim non chime chiep keu tren canh nhu troi xanh:
“Gio ngung di Nua buon chi cho coi long lam ly.”
Hon thu toi noi day reo buon lay.
Long vang muon  be jhong liep che gio ve
Ai nuc no thuong doi chau buong mau, duong the bao la sau
Nguoi mong may tan cho gio hiu hiu lanh.  May ngo troi xanh
Chac gi vui.  Mau con roi bao kiep sau ta nguoi.
Gio xa xoi van ve, mua chang mu le the
Den bao nam nua troi? Vo chong Ngau khoc vi thu?

English Translation  The Autumn Rain Drop
Outside on the veranda, the autumn rain is gently falling.
The somber sky is quieting, suspended clouds are scattering.
Amidst the muffled wind blowing past in the autumn rain, who’s crying?  who's grieving?
A couple of young birds chirp from the branch as if auguring blues skies:
“Stop wind, why bring sad rain to a plaintive heart?”
Autumn’s spirit arrives, announcing the sadness it brings along
Feelings empty on all sides, for there’s no screen to block the returning wind
Who’s sobbing, lamenting life, teardrops rush down?  The world’s immeasurably sad.
We hope the clouds will scatter bringing sweet gentle breezes.  The clouds open up to blue sky
Could such happiness be?  The rain continues to fall, how many more incarnations until this melancholy subsides?
The distant wind still returns, the unyielding rain spreads its gloom
Oh sky, for how many more years will tears pour from the sky because of autumn?

In conclusion, I would like to mention about one problem.  Although Vietnamese has a great legacy of music, the number of legally performed pre-war music songs is very small.  The composers who now live in oversea countries composed most of the pre-war music songs.  Because of their unclear political attitude (they had been solders of the South government before 1975) their songs are not performed in Vietnam.  However, Vietnamese community in overseas countries can listen to these songs freely and by famous singers.  In Vietnam, anyone who wants to enjoy the music must buy illegal-copied discs.  If you want to know more about pre-war music, you can find the information from www.thingsasia.com.  I am afraid that I do not have enough experience to explain clearly what I mean.  Conversely, I am sure that when anyone of you wants me to explain some pre-war music songs in English I am very willing to help you.

Reference:
www.thingsasia.com 

The Transition

As with all trips across the Pacific, the travel was arduous.  C figured it was 38 hours from the door of our room in Hué to the door of our home in South Texas.  True, we had a long lay over in HCMC – I wondered out loud if some westerner walking by the restaurant in District 1 might be the Pie Man or Down and Out.

In between the catnaps at home, we are reflecting on our students, living in Việt  Nam, and reverse culture shock.  For instance, while standing in line at the ticket counter in the Narita (Tokyo) Airport, I found myself “showing off” a little while talking to two backpackers who had traveled in Việt Nam – I just had to tell them I live in Hué.

We have talked (politely) about the expressions our students use in their writing – expressions such as “nowadays”, and “firstly” and “According to me, . . . “.   We’re missing them already.

Yes – that’s right.  We miss Việt Nam and its people.  Thankfully, through the magic of the Internet, we can stay in touch for the two months we’ll be back here in the United States.  Thanx to two of our new blog friends too – both Noodle Pie and Down and Out in Sài Gòn have given this blog great plugs.  CottonTimer and Our Man in Ha Noi always have some nice comments.  We appreciate it.

Its impossible to avoid doing a bit of compare and contrast when you get off the airplane.  One of the first things I noticed is that America is the Land of Fat People.  I’m not being unkind to my “comfortable” friends – its just that you see so very few heavy people in Việt Nam.  Yeah – I know a few overweight people are starting to appear in the big cities, but in Hué, the only heavy people you see are westerners.

I got an email from one of my students right after getting home.  She asked for pictures of where we live.  It occurred to me it might be fun to make a few posts that observe the United States as if we were visitors.  Don’t worry – I will neither make a lot of “reverse culture shock” value judgments, nor make a lot of such posts – but a few might be fun.  Most of the posts during the next two months will continue to be about Hué.  Thanx for the idea, Trang.

As we came through Customs and Immigration in Dallas, the officer checked our passports, then said “Welcome Home.”  Many many years ago, we didn’t hear those words.  We smiled at the irony of hearing them today as we came home from Việt Nam.  And we certainly had a great welcome at our church this morning.  C wore one of her ao dai, and I stood back and watched the fun.  Thanx for the welcome, P&P.

In the meantime – we miss our students.

TNTC

Too Numerous to Count – the medical people shorten that to “TNTC” when trying to measure some item that has “gone off the charts.”  That’s what the past five months have been like – I have been overwhelmed with new things and experiences, most of which have not found their way to this blog.  In most cases, I just did not have the time to write about them.  In other cases, something was just a little too sensitive for me to write about it on the web.  In still other cases, I am still struggling to understand something.

Most people would probably say that this spring’s postings have been about “culture.”  Not true.  Writing about what I see on the streets, or teach in class, or what I eat is not the culture of Việt Nam.  Its just sightseeing.  You have to work here and speak the language to truly get into the culture.  I have only worked here, and know that even when I learn the language, I will never be allowed to see all of the culture.

Having been a tourist does not mean you are ahead of the game when you come to Việt Nam to work.  Oh yes – as a tourist, you see neat artifacts, and you go to see exotic people,  and you chit chat with the waitresses in the cafés.  Back packers like to pride themselves on seeing “the real Việt Nam.”  Baloney – they are just tourists as the rich folks are – they just do it on the cheap.  Our previous trips to Việt Nam did not prepare us for living here.

We had excellent training prior to living in Huế.  Excellent training.  We were taught all the “stuff” about the culture – including being told about the things that would drive us a little crazy.  And – the trainers were correct.  Much of what we were told has come to pass, but they also said that no amount of training can substitute for living in the culture.

Example.  A short time ago, I wrote about this being a “non-crisis” culture, as opposed to our western “crisis” culture.  The Vietnamese are inclined to wait until a problem arises before they solve it.  Our western way is to plan for events.  That’s why we wear helmets when riding motorbikes, and that’s why we buy insurance.  If you are at all like me, you read what I just wrote, filed it away for future use – but it didn’t really impact you.

The deeper reality of working here grabs you when you see there are no standard procedures for orienting new teachers.  There are no procedures for giving final exams.  (Yes, there is a roster, but you find out you are on the proctor roster by asking – there is no procedure for insuring everybody knows.)  The cultural differences are no longer cute stories, but exercises in frustration when you are told about an event two hours before it happens.

I can honestly say I have gotten past that point.  I can see no more value to our western ways of doing things than the Vietnamese way.  Its just different.  I have (almost) gotten past the point where I want to “fix” everything.  Việt Nam has been here a long time, and it will not change just because Doug is here for a short while.

There’s another problem - - when something happens, is it the result of the culture, or is it someone’s personality?  It is easy to say “Thao didn’t have the schedule ready”, but is that because Thao is disorganized, or is it the cultural propensity towards not planning?  Its hard to know.

But, this has been an incredible five months.  No complaints – just the knowledge that we have been tested and found wanting, yet we also know we have grown tremendously.  We quite literally pray we have been worthy of our students, and that they have learned and benefited from our presence here.

Some how, we think we have done some good.  During our last minute packing up, with “stuff” strewn all over the room, some things packed, and other things hanging to dry, and with the power being off due to a bad thunderstorm, we came back to our room after dinner to find four of my wonderful American Culture students  - the ones I had mentored in their very first research paper.  They brought some wonderful Hué specialty food – and a delightful memento of the beautiful bridge that spans the Perfume River. To be appreciated in such a manner is humbling, yet exhilerating.  This is why we came here – to teach and to build relationships.

So, Gentle Readers, be assured there is a lot more to being here than I have put into this blog – a lot more.  The Mystery Guest Blogger and I are on the way home for the summer.  We hope to have some personal, late night conversations with some of you.  For the rest, we will continue to blog, and we’ll continue to blog about Việt Nam.  As I said, there is a lot of material we have not posted .

And our blessings have been TNTC.

The Pharmacy Nurses of Hué – (By the Mystery Guest Blogger)

Though I have not practiced nursing for money in five years, I still consider myself to be a nurse -  still a licensed RN.  So it caught my eye when I began seeing ‘stand-ups’ of nurses in Hué, in front of pharmacies advertising medication.  I had not seen these on any of our southern trips, and not in Ha Noi.  Interesting, especially since I have come to believe the Vietnamese seem to have no natural marketing sense.  When in a market in the soap products section, showing a label for bleach, I have been told they don’t have it with no apparent interest in stocking it in the future.

Then, I realized the nurses all over Hué were different.  Of course, then I had to find out how many variations there are.

Be sure to click on the photos to see a larger version.

The first nurse seems to be dressed in an ao dai-like uniform, pants under panels.  Her paint peeling from the wood – the sun and rain taking its toll.

The reverse of the figure has a similar outfit, but shorter, which is a bit more modern.  She also may have a decidedly less Asian look about her, but that might be me.  She certainly looks less worn, but all nurses begin to get that way after a while.

Nurse 2 is again more traditional.  Actually, like the school girl ao dai’s, her long dress is not actually white, but a pale blue revealed in its folds and shadows.

The next is the one most familiar to me – the one beckoning from next to our Copy Shop.  She is more freshly painted, I think.  They all get taken in at night, but the sun of Hué takes it’s toll.

Then we have an actual sign with more of a ‘nurse’ uniform.

Nurse # 5 is my favorite.  We found her across the river at the Citadel.  She reminds me of a 1940’s pinup girl-nurse, cleavage and all!  Very non-traditional.  By the spelling, could she be French?

Next we have the one I call Sairey Gamp (Martin Chuzzlewit, Chapter 19 by Charles Dickens).  She was the nurse we were all warned about during nursing school.  The one we certainly did not want to be mistaken for.  Anyway, this is a tough neighborhood to be a nurse on the street. No doubt about it.

Việt Nam is a country updating itself, entering the world market.   Its people are embracing the traditional while racing into the 21st century.  This last pharmacy nurse is shiny enameled metal, and will be working a long time.

Student Essay - Comparison of the Difference Between a Christian and a Buddhist

This is the third in a series of essays written by my students.  The first was on a spiritual topic – Ancestor Worship in Việt Nam.  This too is on a spiritual topic.  To give the western reader some background, about 10% of Việt Nam’s population is Roman Catholic, and most of the remainder are Buddhist, with small percentages of Cao Dai, and followers of various ethnic minority practices.  There is also a small, but growing Protestant church known as Tin Lành.  All religious groups must register with, and be approved by the government. 

As usual, the student remains anonymous.   Enjoy.

Student Essay One - Ancestor Worship
Student Essay Two - History of the Vietnamese Ao Dai

I was born and grew up in a Christian family.  So I am a Christian and I belong to a Protestant church.  I am proud to be living in my family.  There is another part of me, that is Christian, and I am equally proud of that.  It is the religion of my ancestor, and I hope I will hold firm to my belief till ending life.  My parents taught me that God is love.  I know that God sent his Son Christ to pay the cost of death and set human free, and restore it back to paradise lost.  According to me, this was a miracle of love, and a promise that one day He shall return.  I therefore have a duty to obey and please God.  I love Him and I want to serve Him.  Sometimes, when I have difficulties or temptation, I am always reminded of God’s word.  It helps me overcome difficulties and trials.  “no temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”  I know that what has done for me, He can do for anyone who seeks Him.

My topic is “Compare the difference between a Christian and a Buddhist.”  May be, I am a Christian and I think I will talk about a Christian more than Buddhist as well as Christian.  But, I will try my best and also talk about a Buddhist like a Christian.  At first, I want to make a general introduction about two this religion sect.  At the center of the Christian faith lies the event of Jesus.  The vast majority of Christian is Trinitarian.  This means, god is three person – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  They are inseparable and indivisible.  There are not three Gods but one God manifested in three ways.  A Christian believes Jesus of Nazareth was both full divine.  The reason for the Son of god’s becoming a human is to give people a way to reach God.  Christian believes what separates them from God, and real relationship between god and human is blurred by human faults.  Jesus’ death and resurrection gave people hope that this real relationship could be healed, and it was by God’s love and grace that we were forgiven.  This is called Atonement.  At the end of his earthly life, the Holy Spirit came upon all those who accept Jesus’ authority as the Son of God.  Today, Christian believe that the power of Holy Spirit will to be active their lives.  When they pray to God that the Spirit will guide the, and they feel happy to talk to God.

There are many different forms of Buddhism but all follow the Buddha and his teachings.  Siddhatta Gotama lived in India around 2,500 years ago and was given the title Buddha, which means Awakened or enlightened one, by his followers.  Gotama taught that there is no Ultimate.  All people bear the responsibility for their own lives and its consequences in this life and those to follow.  “Buddhists need no monks, but the belief in rebirth and the natural order of cause and effect places the ordained in a special category where they are treated with respect and reverence.”  Essentially non-violent, Buddhism is build upon a deep commitment to the Buddha, the Dham (teaching of the Buddha) and the Sangha (community of lay and ordained Buddhist).    These are sometimes described as the three Jewels.  It is these three essential elements which are taken as guidance on the path of life.  They provide safety (another description in the Three Refuges)But they can also allow the individual to grow in life, wisdom, and compassion.

Buddhism is the second largest religion in the world.  Twenty percent of the world’s population is Buddhist.  There are different kind of Buddhism, however all Buddhist do meditation.  One of the meditations done is on death.  Everyday, through meditation, we recall our death and so we do not worry about dying.  When a Buddhist person is dying, the family may think, “what can we do for the dying person?”  They will invite a monk to see the dying person and to do chanting.  In Buddhism, the world chanting is used instead of prayer.  As a person is dying, they chant permanency of the life.  It is because of our birth that we have to accept our death.  Death is not unusual.  That is the Buddhism point of view.  So everyday, when they finish their normal regular prayer, we do some meditation on death.  That is why the Buddhist is not afraid to die, and also why the family is ready to accept the death.

Christian believes and except after life (paradise).  As God has promised “I am going there to prepare a place for you.  If I go and prepare for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”  (Holy Bible)  When a Christian person is dying, they will not invite a monk like Buddhists but they have pastor to hold ceremony.  In that ceremony, they will sing hymns, and read the Holy Bible.  Although they feel sad for the lost relative, they believe that they will be meet the relative again in Paradise (eternal life).

Buddhism’s conceptual dogma is that life is an ocean of misery.  “BIRTH – OLD – ILLNESS – DEATH”  It originated explain to people’s misery and as a method to separate that misery.  Following Buddha’s word teaches that people who want separate than that suffering, have to go into monastery.  Buddhist has to sanctify them and think, “You must reap what you have sown.”  Monks usually diet and think that they have to ill –treat their body and mind to be elevated.  Buddhists believes that they have to rely on their own strength, sanctify themselves to pass into Nirvana.  But, they are very vague about Nirvana.  I have know one person, he has been a monk more than 65 years old.  When he became old, he had a serious disease.  He said that if he died at that moment, he do not know what he would have in Nirvana after 65 years of training.  When Buddha taught his disciple (Mr. A-Nan-Da) “the truth compare with moon, do not think that He is moon,” it meant he does not have the power to change the law in the universe as well as problems in people life.

Christian – God set up people to people talk to God.  At first, people lived in the Garden of Eden, they had close relationship to God.  But, due to their own opinions and stubbornness, they did not obey to God, followed the example of Satan’s temptation (naked) and committed sins to God.  Sin had separated people from God.  When people committed sin, people went out of the Garden of Eden and the presence of God.  People lived in misery, hopelessness, and sadness.  People always tried to be personally perfect and desired a happy life by own effort themselves, such as , a moral way of life, philosophy, and religion.  But all the people’s effort was wasted.   People cannot save themselves but they can base on whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)  Jesus Christ is only God’s solution for sin problem.  Buddhist usually effort to improve themselves, simple drinking and eating, thinking of goods and hope their children will have better things in the future.  Christian knows that “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)  They are completely helpless before sin.   They cannot find success by their own efforts.  By faith, they receive God’s salvation for this world – to be happy life.  “The righteous will live by his faith.” (Holy Bible)  In contrast to Buddha, Jesus Christ said that “I am the way, the truth and the life.  No one come to the Father except through me.”  (John 14:6)  So, god is the truth, is only way to people reach to God.

God has commanded that “observe the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.”  Besides, they have read the Holy Bible and pray to god each day.  So, they always have a close relationship to God.  To Buddhists, they put their belief on Buddha.  To Christian, they put their belief on Jesus Christ.  Christian believes that Jesus Christ is God and the perfect person.  Only Jesus Christ can grant people’s salvation, separate sin and has authority to give it to the whole world, and eternal life in Paradise.   Buddhist have not witnesses but the Christian have witnesses.  They obey God’s command “therefore go and make disciples all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” (Matthew 28:19)  Christian believes in God’s word.  “We believe that what the Bible says in both the Old and New Testaments is true.  We believer there are only one God, the eternal God and Creator who exists as a Trinity:  The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  We believe all men are sinners who can be saved only through God’ grace by turning from sin to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.”  (Internet)  They receive Jesus Christ who has poured out for many forgiveness of sins.  They have to keep, obey God’s command, and reborn (reborn by God).  So, they can go into Paradise.

Easter Day is always a reminder of the fact that Jesus Christ, the son of god, died on the cross for my sins, which separate me from God and rose again into heaven so that I can have a relationship with Him.  It is very difficult to explain my relationship with God; to me God is all in all, he is my father, mother, brother, sister, and friend.  Whenever I am down, I turn to Him in prayer in comfort, and strength.  He is always there for me.

Buddhists think that when they have a difficult, they usually go to the pagoda to chant and they feel more peaceful.  They always go to the pagoda at first year or big full moon day.

Christians usually go to the church on Sunday and the other days in the week.  “Let us not give up meeting together as some are in habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”  To me, I am always peaceful, happy when I live in God’s house.  I sure that God is always beside me, helps me, and cares for me.  I think that only God cam help people separate sin.  In short, between a Christian and a Buddhist have many the difference but with my knowledge, I can say some basic thing about a Christian and a Buddhist.  I think that each peoples have particular religion.  To me, I hope that everyone will soon realize “God is the truth.”  No one can say like God “I am the way, the truth, and the life.”

References:
Holy Bible (NIV)
Doan Trung Con.  Lich su Nha Phat. Nha Xuat Ban Ton Giao 2001
Nguyen duc tu.  2500 Nam Phat Giao, Nha Xuat Ban Van Hoa Thong Tin 2002

Night on the Town (by The Mystery Guest Blogger)

Tonight we went to a banquet to honor scholarship recipients at our school.  The dinner was very nice – thank you, Julie! – the company was better!  Congratulations to Phuong, Nguyên, Vinh, Vu and Huong. After, the teachers were invited to a café, and were treated to music, conversation and refreshment.  Very civilized, and topped off a nice evening.  Thank you Huong, Hao, Vinh and Vu. It will be a quick summer until we see you again. 

xoxo - cmy